When the person living with dementia is distressed:
When you enter a room with a PLwD and you can see they are distressed by the look on their face or their actions, first pause a moment and collect yourself, take a breath and reenter the area.
When you approach the PLwD have a concerned look on your face to meet their mood; let them move toward you (do not advance to them), ask for permission to enter their personal space by offering your hand.
The best way to do this is a method called Hand under Hand contact taught by Teepa Snow, the founder of A Positive Approach to Care, LLC. Please click on this link to learn more: https://teepasnow.com/about-dementia/#pacskills
After you have established a safe space for them offer a question like “sounds like you are ______” and offer an emotion or a feeling that may be true for them such as: sad, searching for something or someone, tired, angry, upset, etc.
Repeat the words they use to describe their emotion/feeling. This makes them feel heard. For instance, If the PLwD says “I want to go home” You could say: “So you want to go home (pause)…tell me about your home…” They may say they are looking for their Spouse (that has passed). You could say: “So you are looking for Dad (pause)….tell me your favorite time with Dad.” Then relax and enjoy the memory. Please don’t fret if the memory isn’t the same as your memory of the same moment, we all remember events differently. You provide comfort by just being in the “moment” with them.
Continue to read to learn more about how to have positive interactions with your loved one Living with dementia that may help reduce some of the stress of not knowing what to do when new situations pop up or unwanted behavior occurs.
Know you are not alone. Support is available. You are both doing the best can!
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