Help me communicate effectively with the person Living with dementia
When approaching the pLwd be sure to announce your approach by saying “Hi, Dad, it's Susan” (if they are unaware) otherwise you can just say “Hi, Dad”.
Make Eye Contact
Stop when you are 3 feet away and offer your hand as in a handshake; when they offer their hand you then approach and sit next to them or kneel (if you can get up on your own) and continue holding their hand
Stay at or below their eye level
Speak in a calm tone
If they ask you to repeat what you said, it isn’t because they didn’t “hear” you, it could be because you used too many words and they didn’t understand them all
Repeat what you said using 4 or fewer words; Do not raise your voice, keep it calm and even-toned
Smile or meet their mood. If they are upset, convey you are also upset for them by matching your expression to theirs
Continue to listen to their expression of feelings or emotions and empathize (try to imagine how you would feel if you could not recall how to complete tasks that used to be routine) it would be scary.
When possible introduce something new or different to them when they are upset. For instance, you could place family photo albums on end tables or within reach. I found looking at the pictures brought forth fond memories or good feelings to the forefront of their attention and eased anxiety
If the person can no longer communicate verbally or it causes them anxiety finding the words, you can try changing the mood by offering a game or activity like going for a walk.
A good way to help them feel useful could be to ask them to help you with a small task like folding a basket of Hand towels, sweeping, or making the bed. You will want to take a deep breath and be open for the task not to be completed as you would prefer for it to be. They are doing the best they can with what they have left of functioning memory.
Depending on what state of mind they are in, they could sit with a small child that is in the home and look at a picture book or family photo album.
To encourage the pLwd to continue to communicate with you be warm, calm, and loving. A person living with dementia still “feels” and has emotions. They may not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel!
Have an open mind to what they want to talk about.
Don’t correct them if they say a wrong word
Don’t “give” them the word right away. Let them think about it some, then it's okay to help, and certainly, when they ask for your help
When words become difficult, use hand signals. For instance: thumbs up if they are feeling good; thumbs down if they aren’t feeling good.
Pain can be expressed in many ways. Be alert for facial expressions that could signify they are in pain. Point to parts of the body to locate the pain, if possible.
Do your best to repeat what the pLwd says to you, it helps a person feel heard. For instance: Mom says that she is upset she missed a TV show and is upset with herself. You could say “You are upset you missed the show”, and sympathize with her as she shares her dismay. Possibly say something like “That is upsetting” or, “I like my shows as well”.
At this point, you may suggest another activity. For instance: “When I miss my show I just go for a walk”, “Would you like to go outside with me?”
Could she help you with a household chore?
You could change the scenery by moving to another room and picking up an object to discuss or admire.
