How to Find Good Respite Care—and Why Your Health Depends On It
Let me start by saying something that might be hard for some of us to admit: you need a break. Not a break because you're weak, or not doing enough—but because you're doing everything, every day, and it’s taking a toll.
I’ve been a caregiver for 16 years. I’ve had days where my knees barely held me up, where my brain felt like scrambled eggs, and my heart was heavier than the person I was lifting out of bed. We often think the “strong” thing to do is to keep going. But the bravest thing we can do is recognize when we need help—and get it.
That’s where respite care comes in.
What Is Respite Care?
Respite care is temporary relief for caregivers, so you can rest, attend appointments, take care of errands—or just breathe. It can be for a few hours, a few days, or even longer. Some respite providers come to your home; others are part of adult day centers, assisted living communities, or memory care facilities.
But when your loved one is living with dementia, it’s not as simple as finding a sitter. You need someone trained, compassionate, and experienced in memory care. And that takes a little digging—but it’s worth every minute.
Why You Need Respite Care—Not Just Want It
This isn’t just about “me time.” Research has shown that caregivers who don’t take breaks experience:
Increased risk of depression and anxiety
Higher levels of physical illness
Shortened life expectancy
Greater cognitive decline
According to the National Institute on Aging, caregivers for people with dementia face more stress and are more likely to report health problems than caregivers of those with other conditions.
Taking time off from caregiving is not a luxury. It’s a lifesaving intervention for both your mental and physical health—and it also helps prevent caregiver burnout, which can lead to neglect, resentment, or even harm to your loved one (and that’s something none of us want).
What to Look for in Dementia-Trained Respite Care
Here’s what I recommend you ask or observe when evaluating respite providers:
Are staff trained specifically in dementia care?
Look for certifications like CARES Dementia Specialist™, or ask what training they receive annually.
How do they handle difficult behaviors?
You need someone who understands that aggression or wandering is part of the illness—not a personal attack.
Is the environment calm and structured?
Consistent routines and low-stimulation spaces are best.
Do they communicate with caregivers?
Will they provide daily updates, call you if there's a change, or work with you on a care plan?
Are references or reviews available?
Ask for contact with other caregivers who’ve used their services.
Where to Start Your Search
Finding good respite care can feel overwhelming—but you are not alone. Here are trusted sources to help you locate dementia-trained respite care:
Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline (800-272-3900)
They can connect you to local services and trained providers: alz.org/help-support/caregiving/care-options/respite-care
Eldercare Locator by the U.S. Administration on Aging
Enter your zip code to find services near you: eldercare.acl.gov
A directory of respite programs nationwide: archrespite.org/respitelocator
Most counties have an AAA that can connect you to local dementia-friendly care programs.
Family Caregiver Alliance - Provides quality information, support and resources related to family caregiving.
Faith-based or community caregiver programs
Some churches or nonprofits provide free or sliding-scale respite services.
Don’t Wait for a Crisis to Take a Break!
I’ve seen too many caregivers wait until they’re in the ER with heart palpitations or burnout-induced depression to finally ask for help. Please don’t let it get that far. Start small. Try one afternoon a week. Trust me: your mind, your body, and your soul will thank you.
And remember: respite isn’t just for you. It gives your loved one the chance to interact with someone new, engage in different activities, and even benefit from new surroundings.
Final Thoughts from One Caregiver to Another:
It’s not selfish to need rest—it’s sacred. It’s how you refill your spirit so you can keep doing what love called you to do.
If no one’s told you lately: You’re doing an amazing job. And you don’t have to do it all alone.
Stay well, and know that you are both doing your best.
— Judy
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