Mom won’t let Dad go anywhere, she clings to him all day and can’t be without him

Intimacy is a bond we share with a person. It can be a family member, a close friend, and a spouse. It is a very strong bond. Brain change can often change the way we think about a person we were once intimate with.

Medications can interfere with sexual interest. 

As a spouse to a person living with dementia, you may notice a change as the pLwd experiences stress from memory loss and the ability to be on their own. How the person feels about themselves can also affect their emotions and desire to not be alone. This may cause them to become “clingy” and not let you go anywhere without them, not even the next room. 

Remember, the pLwd still has feelings and emotions. Help them feel secure by spending time sitting and talking with them often.

• When you leave, make sure they have a phone with them and you on speed dial. Make sure they are capable of using it

• If leaving them with another person, reassure them you will be back and this person is there for a short time and will keep them safe

• If you are the spouse:

• Find someone you can talk to about your concerns in the changes of intimacy; your self-care is an important aspect of your caregiving journey

• Explore ways to have time together that don’t involve sex; give a massage, put on some music, and dance!

Sometimes, intimacy becomes extreme. You can give the person more attention and reassure them they are safe and you are there with them. You may need to hold hands more or give more hugs. If the situation becomes extreme or “socially” inappropriate, talk to the medical professional for help or steps to take. Some medicines may help.